"Are you calling me a liar? Are my pants on fire? Is my nose as long as a telephone wire? No!"

 

"If I were you, I'd be embarrassed, too, because then I'd be a pathetic loser."

 

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Call me!"

 

(Someone asks why Brendan's not participating in the Farmer's Tan Contest.)

"Cause I have bacne."

 

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I threw doughnuts at her."

 

"My friends call me B-dawg, B-wax, B-smooth, and Susan."

 

"You can't eat flowers unless...you're that kid in my second grade class."

 

"Look at me. I'm wearing a space suit for Pete sakes!"

 

"Lets rock this thing. BLS style."

 

 

"It fits the contour of my butt." (about his lowriders)

 

"It's true, man. My grandma doesn't lie. Never has, never will."

 

"FIRE MARSHALL!"

 

 

"Yes, I am in a field. That is why I am a correspondant on the field."

 

"More bacon! More bacon!"

 

"To the house, baby! TO THE HOUSE!"

 

[on the desert island]

"I will burn more than you can even possibly fathom."

 

"Why log such a thing?"

 

 

"My greatest fear is that the African dining squirrel may have already dined. That would be terrible."

 

"Oooh! Look at me. I'm Brendan. I'm so cool and I like shadow puppets. Dork!"

 

"I was walkin' down the street one day

And I said, "Hey!"

And then I saw this girl and her name was Tar...Katie.

So then I...uh...said, "Hey, Katie."

And then I was walking and I said, "Yeah, hey!"

 

"I always thought Robbie looked like a woodchuck."

 

"What's wrong with this lane? Oh, it ends..."

 

"Oh, spit!"

 

"Why do they sleep on one leg? That's messed up, man!"

 

 

"Mom, I know you said not to run, but we got excited. We were goin' out on the boat."

 

"Powder, do something with yourself!"

 

"Check the pulse! THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE!"

 

"Do you hear that? That's the sound of an ambulance comin' to get me, 'cause the sight of you stopped my heart."

 

"Daddy always had a fanny pack."

 

 

"Stock car...cars..."

 

"I didn't take any prisoners. You think I took prisoners? I didn't take any prisoners. I got my belly button tanned."

 

"If I were a spaceship, I would land on your planet."

 

"This is between ME and the KITE, MOHR!"

 

 

"Wanna go chill at the chill?"

 

"Some call it adversity. I call it a hose."

 

"We're not hurting anybody. We're not embarrassing anybody...Except ourselves."

 

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again...Paul makes a cute, cute woman."

 

 

"He's too lazy to freakin' eat!"~Megan Leonard Flieschel

 

"A fold should be creased enough to give me a papercut. But this is soft like a rabbit."~ Bogan Dole (Matt Leonard)

 

 

Carney: [Standing over a pool] I'm gonna jump!

Brendan: No, Michael! Cotton shrinks in water!

 

Brendan: Can I borrow fifty cents?

Sheehan: Sure. Name the first ten digits of pi.

 

Mrs. Leonard: What are you eating?

Ryan: Just chewin' on some bubble wrap.

 

Brendan: Do you guys ever just think about time and how fast it passes?

Pat: Brendan, do you wanna get pizza or not?

Brendan: But, you get the pizza, and it's not about the food, it's about the camaraderie. Eating the pizza with friends...

Kevin C.: I hate you.

 

Brendan: How about we go to lunch and you can buy mine?

Pat: How about we not?

Brendan: Mom, Pat's not playing nice.

 

 

BOGAN: Cotton candy, girls named Sandy, pizza all day long.

Rocket ships, potato chips, playing some ping-pong.

BRENDAN: My own show, cookie dough, popsicles with the flavor orange.

Bein' the boss, dental floss, shucks, 'cuz nothing rhymes with orange.

ROBBIE: Monster truckies, rubber duckies, serve yourself boofays.

My own bed, Right Said Fred, BLT, no may-o-naise.

KEVIN C.: When I was four, I broke a door, now I'm on a seashore.

I see green grass, Oh, wait, it's sand, now I'm playing the guee-tar.

RYAN: Megaphones, ice cream cones, mummay's homemade stew.

West Coast rap, dancing tap, good ole Winnie the Pooh. (Bogan joins in) And Tigger, too.

K SHEE: Playing cards, lee-yuh-tards, lem-o-nade iced tea.

Soda pops, belleh flops, chicken fricassee!